I Just Can’t Take You.

24 Jun

How is it that I’m always the one to blame? 

I’m afraid I can no longer afford to play this game. 
You were everything I wanted and more, 
But I have to admit I was glad when you walked out the door.
Because I wasn’t strong enough to stay, 
Yet no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t walk away.
It’s like you put me under some kind of spell,
And you kept me under it until I fell.
And then you left me to handle everything on my own,
Losing you was just the start and now I’m alone.
I just wish you cared enough to make sure I was alright,
But I guess I understand you ignoring me because all we do is fight.
But if you ever remember how I gave you my all, 
If you ever miss me and decide to call,
Don’t even bother because i couldn’t take it,
Plus no matter what you have to say, i guarantee it’s a bunch of bullshit.

Most Things In Life-

21 Jun

* Cannot be taught, they have to be learned.
Like how to choose who to love, & that no matter who you choose they’ll break you in some way.
* Aren’t just given, they have to be earned.
Like respect, trust, & words of praise that others might say.
* Are extremely deceiving, & not what they seem to be.
Like boys actions, peoples empty words, & girls who act happy when they’re torn apart.
* Have to be felt, because it’s the best things in life that we can’t see.
Like the touch of a man who respects you, kisses, & all the love a girl can hold in her heart.
* Will seem as if you’re their target, or they’re out to get you.
Like cruel girls, douchebags, & your parents who make you feel like you’re in too deep.
* No matter how much you want them to be, just aren’t true.
Like fairy-tales, happy endings, & the promises you think someone will keep.
* Are simple, we just have a way of making them complicated.
Like always using kind words, & the choice to tell the truth or a lie.
* But most importantly; Most things in lie are beautiful, we’re just to blinded by this shallow world we’ve created.
Like nature, the feelings you get when someone says they care, & the fact that we’re all here living & we don’t even have a reason why. ❤

One night.

7 May

The promises we make tonight will be broken in the morning

What we thought was real turned out to be fake without so much as a warning.

When you wake up and find that I’m not by your side

remember to be glad that at least we tried.

Even thought things turned out horrible in the end,

remember we can always try and start again.

I’m gonna make it.

29 Apr

Who knew one night could have such an impact on me. I finally realized what it takes to make it as a teenager. You have to give in to yourself sometimes and just let go. I hold back so much. But how can I become who i’m supposed to be if I’m making decisions to be something other then me? I want to be myself. And for others to see me as I really am. Last night I gave in, I did things that some people wouldn’t approve of. It’s who I am. I like to party. Why’s it so hard for me to admit? I say that I don’t care if people judge me, but I do. But I want people to know. I like to have fun, that doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. I make bad choices, but everyone does. You have to do what makes you happy, and not let other things get in the way.

Karma.

24 Apr

Karma: Destiny or fate, following as effect from cause.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about karma, it’s that it always comes around and bites you in the ass. I try my best to be nice to people, and be the best person I can be. But lets be honest, people are ferociously brutal. Sometimes people just need to be slapped. Or worse. And although I don’t have the authority to take matters into my own hands when it comes to anyone but myself; that doesn’t stop me. Some people just need to be punished. I’m sure that karma gets around to everyone. But the people who deserve the worst case scenario seem to always get off the hook. I feel like it’s my job to get them back on it. I’ve learned a lot of lessons but watching the bad people have all the good stuff just isn’t fair. People cheat their way to the top, and all their dreams come true. But the honest people get left in the dust. Karma has a way of messing up the future. One bad choice and your destiny is screwed. Which isn’t fair, or just. Karma is partial and unethical.

Fuck Karma-

The Final Goodbye.

24 Apr

Well, here we are again a thousand miles apart.
Searching for answers & looking for a new place to start-
Didn’t you know that the clock is ticking? I’m moving on.
Don’t even bother looking for me once I’m gone-
Even IF you find me, I will never be the person I was when I was with you.
Cause without you my heart broke into pieces; you left me with no one to turn to-
Where are you when I’m lonely? When my emotions are undone?
If this was a war, it’s safe to say you won-
Where are you when I’m laughing? Or when my tears start to hit the floor?
Not where I need you to be; cause you’re not knocking at my door-
Yes, it works both ways, but you don’t need me like I need you.
Because you’re stronger then I am, it shows in everything you do-
Yet you aren’t strong enough to let go of your pride.
So I guess I’ll have to get used to seeing someone else standing by your side-
I was so easily replaced; it’s like you didn’t even have to try.
So I guess everything that we once were has come down to this final goodbye-

AN OUTSIDER.

24 Apr

The pounding of my head wasn’t helping me think straight. I felt as if I’d been lead into a trap. Only everyone knew it was a trap, except for me. But no one bothered to stop me or warn me. They just watched as I walked into what soon would be the death of me. Maybe not physically. But emotionally. Emotionally I am dead. I suddenly became aware of who I am. I am an outsider. The only people who even dare to treat me with kindness are those who wish me the most harm. Trust and Love are words that I no longer know the meaning to. Because I am surrounded by lies and hate. I always knew the world was a cruel place. But a world where friends turn on friends is beyond cruel. All I know is complete, and utter chaos.