I’m gonna make it.

29 Apr

Who knew one night could have such an impact on me. I finally realized what it takes to make it as a teenager. You have to give in to yourself sometimes and just let go. I hold back so much. But how can I become who i’m supposed to be if I’m making decisions to be something other then me? I want to be myself. And for others to see me as I really am. Last night I gave in, I did things that some people wouldn’t approve of. It’s who I am. I like to party. Why’s it so hard for me to admit? I say that I don’t care if people judge me, but I do. But I want people to know. I like to have fun, that doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. I make bad choices, but everyone does. You have to do what makes you happy, and not let other things get in the way.

One Response to “I’m gonna make it.”

  1. expat93021 May 4, 2013 at 7:07 am #

    The topic in your blog isn’t too much different from that of other young people your age would write about; the only difference is that you’ve mustered the courage to actually put it in writing and publish it for all to see. Good for you!

    I was a teenager once and I really hated that time of my life. I felt as if I had no direction and I didn’t know where I was going, or what I wanted out of life; I started smoking cigarettes, staying out late, stuff like that, but certainly doing things that I knew my folks wouldn’t approve. I know that I did those things to get their attention and of course I wanted to be accepted in school. There was me acting all grown up with my so-called ‘friends’ but really, underneath the bravado, I was just a scared kid wondering what life was all about and what part I had to play in it.

    Now, as a mother and grandmother, I have long since realized that had I done what some kids were doing at the time, I could have ended up in a ditch with my throat slit, been raped, or had gotten drunk and driven a car that ended up killing someone, Thank God that didn’t happen to me.

    Like you, I wanted to be noticed. I wasn’t pretty or good looking. I wasn’t popular in school. I would have done well had I received encouragement and support but it didn’t turn out that way. I wasn’t a bad person either, but I suppose I could have turned out that way and all for that one thing – to be noticed.

    For what it’s worth, one thing I learned in all those years of growing and learning (and I’ve taught my own children this lesson too) is that with freedom comes responsibility. It’s a heck of a thing to own, because when you have the freedom to do whatever it is you want, and something goes terribly wrong, you and you alone are the one who must stand up and face the music; it’s part of the growing up thing, and a vital part of your life, good or bad.

    If you can, ask your mother or father that question. Freedom is all about taking responsibility for your actions, and not taking advantage. There’s a big difference but I think you are bright enough to know which decision is the wisest. Everyone does make mistakes, you’re right. Making mistakes is the world’s way of teaching us right from wrong. Remember that, if you’re partying (and that probably means drinking), your judgement will be severely impaired if you give in to peer pressure and end up out of control.

    I wish you luck.

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