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The Final Goodbye.

24 Apr

Well, here we are again a thousand miles apart.
Searching for answers & looking for a new place to start-
Didn’t you know that the clock is ticking? I’m moving on.
Don’t even bother looking for me once I’m gone-
Even IF you find me, I will never be the person I was when I was with you.
Cause without you my heart broke into pieces; you left me with no one to turn to-
Where are you when I’m lonely? When my emotions are undone?
If this was a war, it’s safe to say you won-
Where are you when I’m laughing? Or when my tears start to hit the floor?
Not where I need you to be; cause you’re not knocking at my door-
Yes, it works both ways, but you don’t need me like I need you.
Because you’re stronger then I am, it shows in everything you do-
Yet you aren’t strong enough to let go of your pride.
So I guess I’ll have to get used to seeing someone else standing by your side-
I was so easily replaced; it’s like you didn’t even have to try.
So I guess everything that we once were has come down to this final goodbye-

AN OUTSIDER.

24 Apr

The pounding of my head wasn’t helping me think straight. I felt as if I’d been lead into a trap. Only everyone knew it was a trap, except for me. But no one bothered to stop me or warn me. They just watched as I walked into what soon would be the death of me. Maybe not physically. But emotionally. Emotionally I am dead. I suddenly became aware of who I am. I am an outsider. The only people who even dare to treat me with kindness are those who wish me the most harm. Trust and Love are words that I no longer know the meaning to. Because I am surrounded by lies and hate. I always knew the world was a cruel place. But a world where friends turn on friends is beyond cruel. All I know is complete, and utter chaos.

Lost.

23 Apr

Do you ever get the feeling that you’re missing something? I look at my life and I can’t help but feel like there’s this empty space. Lately I feel like I’m searching for something that I’ll never find. Not because what I’m looking for is lost. But because I’m lost. Somewhere in between who I was and who I’m becoming I’ve lost sight of who I am. I’m a million miles away from the people that I care about. And I can’t even blame them for walking away. Because It was me who walked away, I chose to put up walls and burn bridges. Now I find myself secluded from everyone else. I like being on my own. It makes things easy. But it also makes things really hard. I just wonder what could’ve happened if I chose to not walk away.